Write a Book! No, seriously.

I've been trying to do this for, like, 15 years. HA HA.

Here's hoping I actually make some strides (or strokes? teehee) this November!

I will post my progress for you all.....promise =)

The Pitch

Not 24 hours after I sent off a query letter to several publishers, I got a call. Actually, I got three. But who's counting. Um....me!

Upon hearing the message(s) I was skeptical. I didn't want to get my hopes up....at all. I know that rejections (and even scams) are all part and parcel of being a writer. So, I was trying to be realistic. And calm.

I don't take rejection very well. One of the many reasons I a) don't date or b) play the lottery.

With all the research I did, the single best advice I found about submitting a query:

"It’s an important page. An editor or agent is going to read over that one page and decide if they want to read any of that wonderful story you sweated blood and tears over."

So it was up to me to present it in a way that would grab them and intrigue them. Based on the nature of my subject, I wasn't worried about that so much as I was that they would maybe feel there wasn't a market for it. That was the tricky part.

Here is a little glimpse of where some of my inspiration came from. Not all, but the structure in which these books are written is how I plan to present it all.

A quick synopsis of what I am doing: Imagine a combination of those three books (pictured above) and then add in my own experiences as a teenage runaway battling major depression:  I plan to be honest, real and open all while keeping a sense of humor. I believe this is the only way to go.

I am making this a work of non-fiction. What's against me? Well, for starters, non-fiction is usually only as popular as who is writing it or the subject matter. Obviously, I'm no celebrity or expert in anything. And as I have mentioned I am a person of little (or zero) ego so I really don't think ANYONE would be interested in what I have to say. At all. But maybe, just maybe, someone will be.
The other potential problem? Hurting or "defaming" others in the process. Obviously a lot of my experiences involve family, friends and others. So, I plan on being as discreet and respectable as possible. And confidential. Name changing is a definite in this case. I respect people enough to do that much.

Stay Tuned! I will know more as the events unfold. And yes, I still feel like throwing up.

Taking the plunge!

Today, I finally took that giant and terrifying step towards something bigger.

I contacted publishers, agents and editors about "my book."

Let me back up for just a sec...

I've wanted to write a memoir for, oh, about 15 years.

I have numerous journals, drafts, essays, blogs, notes I have compiled in that entire time. Within that mess of papers and documents, I have some gems and some really good stuff. Also, some extremely raw material that could potentially damage me. Why would I allow people to have access to all this? Well, I don't see why not. What do I really have to be ashamed or afraid of? My life = all I know.

Granted, there will always be those out there who see otherwise but I am of the mind that this is MY life and I chose what I do with or make of it. Right? Right.

But putting myself out there; in the spotlight, in the Big Bad World, in the eyes of those who dislike me or even hate me has been something I have held back from for way too long.

Fear is the main factor. Rejection, judgment, and flat out cruelty have made me refrain from showing people what I can do and what I can offer, as a writer. And really it's just getting old now. Those excuses I've used for so long, in fear of getting hurt, are now propelling me to do this.

Now is the time though and I feel like, if I don't do this now I never will. And I can't live with knowing that I never tried.

I am literally on pins and needles right now. (And, feel like throwing up). But, I am also really proud of myself for just making the decision to DO IT.

It is very scary. And very liberating. And very exciting!

I will keep those who are interested posted, definitely. I have a feeling it's going to be a long road but one I will gain much knowledge, humbleness and happiness from.

Memoir Schmemoir

I have decided to tackle my biggest (and, most apprehensive) project ever. I have been writing for years. I've also wanted to write about my life and tell my tale. Now, a few things you are probably thinking:
"Why does she think she has a life worth writing and reading about? Does she think she is special or something?"

No, I don't. Not by a long shot. In fact, if you know me personally you know a few things: I am not narcissistic, I am not self-righteous and I don't think I am better than anyone else. I also do not brag. The only things I've ever bragged about are my loyalty to my friends (and I stand by it) and my daughter..which, every single mother does.

The reason I want to write a memoir? Pretty simple. I had a chaotic, crazy, fast-paced life all before the age of 15. Then, a lot more happened after but not focusing on that so much. I had a childhood that a lot of people can not identify with, don't understand or are naturally curious about. That's it. No agenda, just a chance to tell my side of things. Everyone deserves that right.

To put it in a nutshell: I could have easily been a teen on one of those Sally/Ricki/Montel shows back in the day. Easily. Am I proud of that fact? No, not really. But it was my life and I don't know any different.

The largest reason I have put it off this long? Simply put, how many of you would want to delve back into all the crap and chaos in your past? Part of writing about personal experiences means you have to sort of "re live" those times and feelings...and for me, a lot of "the stuff" is quite painful and hard to digest. Even to remember. I have gaps in my memory from those days and I believe it's a defense mechanism.

But, I want to do this. I am going to do this and I am anticipating the final result. I might even shop it around to be published. Whatever happens, I think it's important for each one of us to love our lives, the good the bad the ugly and not have any regrets. After all, the past makes us who we are today.