Breathe in, breathe out.

Ohmygoodness. I am so tired.

Life lately is equivalent to a speeding train. Or, more accurately I am like a speeding train.

Which - I am not complaining. No way.

What's now happening is I am finally functioning at my full capacity. And it feels really good. Being busy is something I needed in my life. Having too much time to think and not act gets old quick and can start to wear on a person.

This past week I have literally not been able to catch my breath.

I wake up every morning - including the weekends - at 430 AM.
On workdays, I arrive at work by 7, work until 4 (which entails non stop typing, accounting and other office stuff), then I go directly to one of my night classes two times a week, including a full day of classes on Saturday and then, there's the homework.
It's the most overwhelming semester for me already. The workload is immense. I barely finish one week's assignments and then it's time to begin the next week. I have seriously contemplated pulling an all-niter but every time I attempt it, I pretty much just pass out. I am a night owl no longer. Sigh.

And, I can't ever leave out being a full time parent. But, everyone already knows that about me.

What they may not know is that I am not the mother of a docile, calm little child. No, what I have is an active, tiny tornado of a girl who refuses to sit still (or be quiet) for longer than 5 minutes at a time. Who gets into everything she can fit her little body or hands into and she does not enjoy when mommy has to go to class, do homework or do anything that means I am not paying attention to her. {And it is seriously hard not to pay attention to her - have you seen her? She is SO CUTE!}

In addition to the flurry of activity, there are all the life changes - new finances, friendships, daily rituals and what not. I am surprised constantly by how my life is evolving and I am seriously over the moon about it. I feel happy for the first time in a loooooong time.

One thing I am really excited about?  My upcoming "visit" to a Buddhist Temple here in Boise. I will be attending for two reasons: to write a paper for my Social Work class and because, well, I want to be a Buddhist. There - I said it. Um, meditation, incense and Buddha? Sign me up! 

To put it in a nutshell - I love my job. I love being in school. I love being single and I love the direction I am headed in. I am genuinely excited about things and look forward to making plans and taking the steps to get to where I need to be.
Unfortunately, there is always the unexpected. Recently there have been two events that have really made me have to stop and compose myself. I won't go into them because it's not anyone else's business - unless you are close to me. I don't want to be a negative nancy all the time so there are some things I will keep to myself. But it makes me realize, even in the calmest of storms, life can be chaotic and ever-changing.

Much love, friends. I haven't had hardly any time to blog or even think about blogging but I will try to stop by once a week or so.... xoxo

Learning to Deal with "Others"

I have never ever been very good at keeping my thoughts to myself. Somehow or another, stuff just always slips out. Usually in a moment of boiling hot rage but sometimes when I am so shocked or taken aback that I can't refrain myself from spewing forth with a snarky retort.

Yesterday, I was pretty proud (and surprised) of myself.

As most everyone knows, I am a full time college kid these days. And when I say "kid" I actually mean I am 31.

I was sitting in my very first Social Work class. Our teacher came in and was just getting started. There were only about 5 of us in the class, when 20 minutes later in walks one of "those girls." You know - not pretty but thinks she is. Basically, she's skinny and has money judging by her bag and coat so automatically, people thinks she's attractive. But she is a total "butterface." She walked with her nose in the air, I swear to you.

*Note: Normally I am not a catty person. I rarely put people down based on their appearance. But when your inner self is ugly as hell, you'd better believe I am gonna point out how ugly you are on the outside. Call me a bitch - I don't care. I just call em like I see em.

She sat down and our teacher continued talking.

Long story short, we were discussing the rich vs. the poor in our country and how the social system treats you differently depending on which one you are. The subject of welfare programs and assistance came up. Having been on a few of them while I was pregnant and a new mom, I have the personal experience regarding these. But I got myself off of them as soon as I could. Thank god those systems were in place or else I would have been in serious trouble. I also know I am not a deadbeat. Or lazy. I work my ass off and I refuse to take advantage of the system or expect people to just give me things. That's why I am no longer using those programs.

This girl pipes up and goes off about how much better the poor have it. (???!!!)

She says they have it "good and live a better life than the rich because they don't have to pay for anything." She went on about how "the poor" get free housing, free food, free daycare, free medical, etc. Uh, yes sometimes. If you qualify. And even then, you don't get all of that. Your life is NOT better than someone with a lot of money. Dumbass.

She said a bunch of other stuff too about how "because she is a business owner, the poor are a strain on her livelihood and thus make her life more difficult so in comparison the poor have a better life." By that point, my ears were ringing and my blood was boiling.

When it comes to anything related to the social system, the opressed and any injustice in our society, I get PASSIONATE. I have a zillion opinions on it all and nothing gets me more emotional and more heated. So, obviously, this class is going to be all sorts of fun.

You could hear a pin drop in that class. The 2 girls seated next to me exchanged shocked looks with one another and I. A few minutes later, one of my girls went OFF on Ms. Snooty Pants and of course, Ms. Snooty Pants totally back-pedaled. To add a nail in the coffin - she is in a Social Work class - meaning, we all more or less want to be social workers. Would you want this girl trying to help you??? She wasn't even "sure if she wanted to be a social worker or not." My vote? Don't let the door hit ya on the way out.

For me, I was astonished that I didn't spin around and give her a tongue-lashing too. But - I didn't. I was a good girl. I sat there calmly, sipping my Mountain Dew and getting a kick out of the reactions of everyone else.

I can tell this class is going to be very interesting =)