Thursday, January 13, 2011

Here’s a Thought…

It seems like every. single. day I (guiltily) peruse the gossip shows, rags and blogs and see another Hollywood/celebrity break-up. Or another train wreck.

I have quite a few opinions and words of advice. Because after all, I’m entitled as an American to share my two cents.

Recently “poor little” Taylor Swift finds herself dumped….again. And, by phone. (Who cares?!) The exact words on were “Awwww. Poor thing.” Um – here’s a thought: TRY NOT DATING. TRY BEING SINGLE FOR AWHILE. TRY FINDING YOURSELF AND FULFILLING SOME GOALS WITHOUT A MAN. TRY BEING A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR ALL THE YOUNG GIRLS LOOKING UP TO YOU. You are 21 years old. You’ve got all the time in the world. Don’t turn into a co-dependent, needy girl who feels she has to have a man to be someone. Seriously – you’re rich. And famous. And pretty. What the hell? You need some guy to make you feel complete?

I have recently succumbed to the dreaded reality show obsession. Not all of em because I seriously can’t stand The Bachelor, the dancing/singing shows and any of those ridiculous wedding ones. Ick. What I do find myself drawn into? The Housewife shows. Dammit; I thought I was safe.

Camille Grammer – are you really trying to back pedal now? You spent an entire season being a total egotistical, high n mighty, immature, stuck up snob and now you want people to feel sorry for you? Oh – your husband was cheating on you. Do you blame him? Get a clue, woman.

A special shout-out to “Dr. Drew.” Shut the hell up, dude. I can’t even believe how pompous and big-mouthed you are. Are you even a real doctor? (I checked; he is. Crap.)

Telling celebs that you have never even met or spoken to that a) they are alcoholics and heroin addicts and b) that their relationships are doomed and c) that you will “frame” a celeb to get them to go into treatment is not your place. Go back to Loveline and your MTV show, doofus. (Celebs in question: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Sebastian Bach and Lindsay Lohan..and I am sure there are others.)

And my personal favorite – Lindsay Lohan. I actually love her. I feel sorry for her and I think people are too rough on her. The girls got issues, duh. A crappy upbringing and too much, too soon will always turn out this way. Anyone remember Drew Barrymore in the early 90s? Yeah. So, yes Lindsay has made a whole buttload of mistakes – and I truly believe she will make it. But my advice? Stay the hell out of cars and stay the hell out of bars until you have been sober for at least 30 days. Hey, maybe move out of Hollywood and try to get your life together.

Oh, and Lady Gaga - your music is amazing. I think you are uber-talented. But you aren’t Madonna and you certainly aren’t Bono. Keep your meat dresses and your “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” speeches to yourself. And invest in some serious skin care products or something. You are 24 and look 44.

I could honestly go all day with this but I'll stop. I think it’s safe to say you can now call me “Dr. Sarah.” Ooooooh; I like that! I am not a real doctor but one day, with my psych degree, I too can talk openly and unsolicited about celebs and others – and still be able to sleep at night.

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