Friday, January 14, 2011

Clean House has got nothing on me.

If you are like me, watching shows such as ”Clean House“, “Hoarders“ and “How Clean is your House?” is comparable to drinking 5 energy drinks and eating 3 candy bars in an hour. I get pumped. My adrenaline starts racing and I feel like springing off the sofa so that I too can tackle any piles, boxes, clutter. I am a neat freak, people. I freely admit it.

So, being inspired partly by these shows and also having a natural OCD tendency, I decided to start my New Year off right. Why? Well, for starters, I will be moving (out of my parents house) this year. Wahoooooo! It’s been a long time coming .

My “storage unit” has been neglected for far too long. Over these past few weeks I have taken on this massive project. And when I say storage unit, I really mean my parent’s barn which holds about 50 of my boxes and all of my furniture. Living with just the “bare essentials” this past year has been very freeing and I’ve enjoyed it. But I miss my “stuff.” More accurately, I miss being able to get rid of stuff.

So, I bought those monster plastic bins (20, to be exact) and dove in to all of my “past” that was collecting dust (and…other things) outside.

Only a few. I ended up with a total of 30 bins.

I wasn’t truly prepared for what I would feel. Call it a time warp, a flashback. Either way, I had to come face to face with parts of my past and it wasn’t pretty.

First order of business? My giant Motley Crue collection. Now, if you don’t know me, this sounds odd. But having been a Motley Crue fan since I was 11 years old, I obviously accumulated tons of stuff. And add in my “ebay blitzkrieg” a few years back and what you have is a lot of items most normal people would never dream of spending money on. But I did. And I loved those things more than anything. Until, I discovered – I grew up.

Last night, I was almost in tears. Sounds ridiculous, I know. But having to trash pictures and items that have long been a comfort to me and hold nothing but super, sexy and silly memories was devastating. I came to my mom and told her what I had just gone through and she actually was empathetic – probably because she knows what a freaking nut I was (and am) about Motley Crue. But I did it and I have to say – I feel like I’ve become a newer, better version of myself. FYI – I still love those boys, I just refuse to have little “shrines” of them any longer.

The next thing? I tossed nearly everything that was a hand me down. Of course I kept things that had some significance or were family related but other than that – garbage. I hope one day to actually purchase and own nice things, things that reflect who I am and that I can take pride in. I’m already on my way to picking out my dream purchases…’s pretty much more exciting than snorting meth.

Perhaps the most humorous part of this whole experience (besides finding that box of letters from my ex-felon, ex-boyfriend or, that long lost issue of Playgirl (lol)) is that my daughter, Berlyn has been by my side through the whole process. Within this year her and I will be moving. And she is extremely stoked about “our new house.” She talks about it every day. In the process, she sees some of my belongings and either wants to keep them for herself (oh crap, another pack rat) or she gets emotional. Wha???? Yeah – I found an old photo album of all the cats I’ve had in my life – 8 to be exact - and when she saw the photos of my past kittens, she started to cry because a) she knew I no longer had them and b) she wanted to just pet them so bad. Lol – poor little dear.

Let’s not forget the ick factor here. I live out in the “country” and a lot of my boxes have been torn into by….shudder…..rodents. Needless to say, I found a mouse skull and that entire box went buh-bye.

The coolest find? Since I’ve been working on my book, I have been in the process of gathering up all of my writings – and was surprised to find a lot of it was out in storage! So, good thing I went through this whole ”cleansing” because there was some gooo-goood stuff hiding in there!

My #1 best cleaning tip? I have found that the miracle product to clean virtually anything is: baby wipes. Seriously, I am obsessed with them.

*In addition to the storage debacles – another major change has occurred as of New Year’s. I am freely admitting it here – and am beaming as I say this – I no longer drink alcohol and I don’t even miss it. No – I am not pregnant. But I am trying to take control of my life and stop being a slave to addictions of any kind. (This would also include shopping.) Not only have I lost weight I have also felt stronger, clearer and 1000 times more motivated to reach my goals. Obviously I had to replace my old addiction for another one – so, energy drinks and coffee are now my bff’s. Thankfully, caffeine really has no effect on me so it’s more of a psychological dependence. Which – maybe not such a good thing. Okay, forget what I just said.

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