Sunday, February 6, 2011

Bad News

In the past, I had some people in my life who, at one time, were a HUGE part of it. But then things changed. We grew apart, we didn't see eye to eye and bad things happened. Then, they were gone.

The one that hurts the most is my ex, Berlyn's dad. I was with him for nearly 5 years when we found out we were expecting. And even though those 5 years were difficult and filled with drama, we had a lot of good times in between. These days, I have no contact with him. My daughter is "traded off" each visit by my parents. It makes me sad all the time to think we can't even see each other, let alone speak. But, some things are for the best.

Recently we found out he is sick. As in, has an illness. And it is a scary one. Upon hearing the news I was overwhelmed with emotions I didn't expect to surface. But, they did and it left me feeling such a sadness I could hardly bear it. This isn't about me though. Though it affects my life because of Berlyn. And because he used to be an integral part of my life - I feel scared for him. And wish I could do something. But I probably can't.

Anyways, the purpose of this post was not for sympathy. It was to point out that even when trucking along, making all the right decisions, being a good person and minding your own business - life can smack you upside the head. It always reaffirms in me that I should tell people how I feel - I love them, I care about them, I miss them - even when I feel stupid for saying it so much or it doesn't get said back to me. I don't care anymore. It's important - if you love someone - say it. They need to know. Trust me, nothing is worse than losing someone and knowing they never knew your true feelings.

Hug someone today. Tell them you love them. That's what I plan on doing ♥

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

it sounds like a good plan, you know, telling people how you feel about them on a regular basis. xxx

And all that jazz said...

Thanks, sweetie - it IS a good plan but so many people don't do it enough. I do it too much but I'm glad I do!

Ninjagaiden78 said...

You should always tell people how you feel about them and never regret anything.

I hope he feels better.

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Kori said...

What's his name? I will pray for him. Love is the best thing you can give him. Kori xoxo

And all that jazz said...

So true.

Kori, his name is Ian. And thank you - you're amazing for doing that. xoxoxoxo