I've been having a grand old time lately. Better than almost any other time period in my life.
Great job, new (and old) friends, lots of laughs, good luck and fortune shining down on me. And I've already proven to myself (and, others) that I am a really good student! No one is as shocked as I am.
Lately I've been reflecting on paths we take in our personal (or, professional) lives. But, for me, this is almost a DAILY thing. Sometimes I question whether I should go into Psychology or PHILosophy instead. I just think way too much for my own good.
I saw the movie "Grey Gardens" the other night. I am a life-long Drew Barrymore fanatic and I have previously seen the documentary, shot in the 70s on the Beales (Big Edie and Lil Edie). I was totally fascinated by them and their story and I was NOT disappointed by the HBO rendetion. (On a similar note, one of my favorite movies ever was "Norma Jean and Marilyn" that HBO did years ago. I have a few "issues" with their facts on Marilyn, but, I won't go there. It was done well and that's all that matters.)
As I was saying, the story is incredibly intoxicating. One of my most prevelant fears in life has always been being "average". Never reaching your own true potential. Possibly wasting, and watching, your life go by and then one day, you realize, you are old and life has pretty much passed you by. It scares. me. to. death. :(
Here is a quick synopsis of the story/film:
"Based on the life stories of the eccentric aunt and first cousin of Jackie Onassis (both named Edith Bouvier Beale aka "Big and Little Edie"), who were raised as Park Avenue debutantes but withdrew from New York society, taking shelter at their Long Island summer home/estate Grey Gardens. In includes not only the filming of the documentary Grey Gardens by Albert and David Maysles, but also events in the the Beales' past including their arrival at the estate, the disintegration of Big Edie's marriage, Little Edie's failed attempts to have her own life, and events subsequent to the premiere of the documentary."
So, getting back to this years other events and experiences....
I am learning so much about women's health and the medical field. Having had a mother who is an RN my entire life, I was just never interested in any of that. But, now that I am seeing it as a common link to my (hopeful) future career in Psychology, I have a newly found interest. Maybe because all it really means is caring for people and their well-being..whether it's medically or mentally.
On the same note, I am "learning" so much in school. Since I technically was a 10th grade dropout, I never acquired the skills to do many things that people take for granted. One of which is studying. Time management. Add in my ADD, and boy oh boy, this has been a struggle. But, somehow I am managing to juggle full time work, a full time class load and my 2 1/2 year old. Whew...writing that made me tired :)
With the knowledge I gained from all the nightmares and hard knocks in 2009 and the Dave Ramsey class I took, I have finally reached that elusive, amazing thing called "financial peace." Paid off all my debt. ALL of it. Now mine and Berlyn's lives can never be tarnished by bad debts again. HOORAY!
Friends...oh, friends. I, unlike lots of people, can proudly say I know what the true definition of a "best friend" is. I've had the amazing luck to have not one, but three. And I've had many, many other good friends too. But, I've learned the difference between real and fake. True and untrue. Loyalty is huge. If you don't have it, don't waste my time. It's as simple as that. What it comes down to? Appreciate those who appreciate you and make you HAPPY. Don't bother with the toxic ones, the egotistical ones, the ones who thrive on control, drama, or guilt. Let them make their own bed. I was rid of several people last year that had been very unhealthy for me and my life/self-esteem/well-being...and, life truly is better without them. Not to say I don't miss them or the memories. But, you gotta know when it's time to walk away. Because, even bad things can make you feel good. Haha! You know what I mean :) Life is too short to spend with mean people...same can be said with romantic relationships. And, yes, I am still proudly single.
All in all, 2010 has already been tremendously productive, enlightening and just darn good to me and my loved ones. I have to think, that's karma. Not that I haven't made mistakes or wrong decisions. And not that I don't still have bad days and wish I had the body/friends/etc I used to have...But, the time is now past for me to feel guilty anymore. It's time to start living. For this moment. And, I'm already on the path. Amen!
Love to you all!