An honest take on motherhood, psychology, love, life and bohemianism. In support of music, film, art and the written word…and all that jazz!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Very Superstitious
I believe in God. Very much so actually. But, I also can be very superstitious & kinda, well....weird. This is coming from someone who went and bought "The Satanic Bible" when I was 15 years old, at the Boise Borders N Music bookstore. Yeah. Those were some looks I wish I had recorded on video, LOL! It was all out of pure curiosity. Same principle with kids trying drugs because they want to know what the "hub bub" is all about. Etc. I think you know where I am going with this. Some of us are quite happy to stay within our comfort zones. And some of us, (me), are willing to put their hands onto the hot stove.
Which brings me to the point of my story. Yeah, there is a point.
I am notorious for my BAD LUCK with love. It all started at 13. (Yes, I said thirteen.) Met the "love of my life" (who happened to be 29 and drop dead GORGEOUS) and was promptly dumped, humiliated, called names & heart-broken. Wow. Love stinks!
I went on to date heroin addicts, convicted felons, alcoholics, abusers &, more often than not: Mr. EGO.
Sigh. I am really tired of these ones. How is it that I keep ending up with them? Oh, I know. I like bad boys. There is the problem.
But, on the same token, I am notoriously awful with "nice" guys too. I have had many dates or encounters with guys that probably would've been the BEST thing for me. Would have let me stay at home, while he worked. Let me go shopping (haha, I'm totally day-dreaming now). Would've never made me cry or treated me like last weeks garbage.
But, was I interested in them?
Noooooooooooooo.
Case in point:
Met a guy online about 2 years ago. I had just had my daughter. Wasn't too sure about dating. But then again, no other guy would touch me with a ten foot pole. We emailed incessantly for weeks. Hit it off SO well. Then, we were about to go on our first date (middle of a Sunday, to a French bistro). All of a sudden, I panicked. I wanted to cancel. I wasn't "attracted to him" (from the pics I'd seen) so I was ready to walk away. I even considered calling him and cancelling. But, my Mom actually pushed me out the door. LOL. I begrudgingly went. (FYI: If you were to ask my Mom her take on this? She believes I sabotage myself. Can't say I entirely disagree.)
On my way there, not 5 minutes on the road, my tire popped. Sh*T!!! I have had a ton of flat tires. Totally my luck. So, I almost had a moment of relief when I realized I had the perfect excuse to cancel on him! I picked up my cell phone, he immediately answered and I tried my best to sound genuine. I explained my situation and that maybe we could do this "some other time."
He flat out offered to come and GET ME and take me to the tire shop himself. I said, "No, that's really nice but I've called my Dad." Then, he said "Well, can I wait with you while it's being fixed?"
Ummmmm. No. I could NOT get out of this date!!!!
So, long story..short. I met up with him. He wasn't my type at all (ie - didn't treat me like a pile of poo) and I had literally no interest in ever seeing him again. He even brought me flowers. *sigh* But, I never did return his calls. Some would say that was bitchy of me. But, I rely heavily on my gut instincts. Or a flat tire. Screaming at me, "DON'T MEET HIM!!!!". I should've listened. Haha.
Here I am 2 years later. One (and a half) "semi-relationships" later; I am so single, I couldn't be more single if I tried. Oh well. Maybe I should give the "nice guy" a chance. Or....maybe not.
To add to my superstitious nature, is the ever popular "Friday the 13th". We always expect something bad to happen to us on this day. I always did.
And then, one day, it did.
I had a Ford sedan. I hated this thing. I was 21, single, young, wild & driving a 4 door "Mom car". I was miserable. And, believe it or not, got about 5 speeding tickets in the time I owned it.
One day, while driving in downtown Boise, a kid ran a stop sign & "t-boned" me. Green fluid started leaking out of my car. The steering wheel was broken, as was the rear view mirror (hit it with my head, but had no clue I did.)
Oh yeah, did I mention it was Friday, the THIRTEENTH??!!
I was devastated. I have no luck. Ever. I was all set to start the "pity party" for myself.
Then, about a week later, as a friend was driving me around town (and we were waiting for the insurance company to get back to us), I saw it. My dream car. (Actually, my dream car is a black corvette - but, this was close enough for me).
It was a sleek, sexy 2 door black sports car with tinted windows & racing tires. I knew, there was no way in hell I would ever have that car. But, surprise surprise. My dad bought it for me, with the insurance money.
I had that car for about 3 years. It went to California and back. It was a good car. Fun times. I loved every second of owning that car, even when the steering wheel would lock up on me as I was driving 40 mph. Never figured that one out!
All in all, I began to see Friday the 13th as a good thing. If it weren't for my accident, I would never have gotten that sports car.
So, maybe it's all in how you look at things. Things to ponder....annnnnd, I just realized that both of my stories involved car mishaps. Hmm, maybe cars are causing my bad luck? Yes, that's it.
♥
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