Lil Miss Sunshine

No matter what struggles or triumphs I face in my life, there is always one constant.

The love I have for my little girl.

The Grass Really Is Greener...

I made a huge transition recently. Or, really, just took a giant leap; into uncharted territory and I am tackling one of my greatest fears - self confidence and belief in myself.

I recently changed jobs. Now, like many, many people out there, my jobs have been, well....JOBS. They paid the bills. They were a necessary responsibility and I did it. Would I have liked to be a stay at home mom, or a full time student? Absolutely. But I haven't been dealt those particular circumstances.....yet.
In the meantime, I, like many of you have been searching for a job that I actually (gasp) ENJOY. Out of every job I've had, only 2 or 3 were something I didn't dread doing day after day.

Finding myself unemployed a few weeks ago, I decided to be picky - for probably one of the first times in my entire life. The most important thing was knowing what I did NOT want to do - that was key. I interviewed with Macy's to do make-up. Even though that would have been a dream, it didn't pan out. Okay, fine by me. Let's move on. So, I applied with a local company that specializes in companion care and care-giving for the elderly and disabled.
I was beyond blessed (and over-joyed) to be offered not only a position with the company, but, a very important position at that. I am now the Human Resources Manager and I am definitely in new and unfamiliar waters. BUT, they believed in me and, I am starting to believe in myself.

This job is pretty close to being tailor made for me - I am good with people. I care. I want them to succeed. I want the clients to be well taken care of. I genuinely am compassionate about this new venture. I see it as an extension of psychology and social work and that is FANTASTIC.

Am I scared, nervous, unsure? YES! But I know I am going to excel. And good things will come of this. What a wonderful gift I've been given!

Pumpkin Power!

This weeked was a first for our family.

Berlyn had never, ever carved a pumpkin. Or, more importantly, seen the inside of one.

I bought 2 good sized ones for me, Berlyn and her daddy so we could have a pumpkin party last Friday evening.

The end result? Berlyn's dad did all the drawing and carving, I took some pics and Berlyn kept trying to get to the knife - lol. In the background, we were watching one of my favorite 80s horror flicks "Waxwork." Not as "homey" as I had imagined but, it was still fun.  Now, just hoping these things don't rot by Halloween.....

Finished!

Kid Stuff, Psychology and the Science of Cartoons

There is some weird shit out there in Kid-Dom these days. Sometimes I am just baffled by what I see. I often find myself wondering, 'who writes this stuff, who okays it and what do kids actually think about this'?!

What is appropriate and what is not appropriate?

This began to bother me when I read about the iCarly episode that Nickelodeon aired. NAMI was the one to report on it and this is what they said:

"iCarly, a popular comedy for “tweens” and younger kids, will air a show “I Lost My Mind,” w/a character who checks into a “mental hospital”; her friends try to “break her out.” Promo commercials use language like “crazy” and “insane.”
If inclined, contact Nickelodeon at: Nickprivacy@nickonline.com or: (212) 258-7579 or Nickelodeon Viewer Services, 1515 Broadway 44th Floor, NY 10036."

I can't count how many times in my own life filled with television, movies, etc that scenes like this one have been rampant. and, we don't even bat an eyelash. Why is that? Maybe the perpetuation of this stigma is the PROBLEM. Hmm, ya think?

Then, a few weeks later, I checked out a book from the local library for Berlyn. It was called “Don’t call me Pruneface” and I thought it looked silly and amusing. Especially because of the title. Literally on the first page is this picture/caption:

I felt really uncomfortable even reading this to my daughter. I kept thinking to myself “what does she think this word means? Is this supposed to be funny?”

Having been called many of these names in my own life by former friends, acquaintances, boyfriends - “crazy, lunatic, psycho, mental, nuts” – these are words that HURT. These are words that carry a very strong and negative connotation to them regardless of how you “mean” them. Most people are so ignorant or clueless that they think they are harmless.  Or, don’t care. I’ve even caught myself referring to people with these words and I feel such a sense of shame. The most shameful part is that I don't even really MEAN it, it's just such a habit that they involuntarily come out.

How do we break this cycle?

Next is a subject I definitely need to pay more attention to and be concerned with. Having a daughter is both a blessing and a curse.

I've really started to notice how females are portrayed in television shows, books, songs, movies, and our society. I am not a feminist by any means but I am also not a soccer mom. I am not married (I choose not to be), I am in full support of nudity, pin ups and burlesque; I love Motley Crue and 'Married with Children' (which are 2 of the most sexist. misogynist things out there) but, I am all about women's lib, women's rights, etc. I am a dichotomy, I know... Ha!

So, I was really startled when, in a scene from Scooby‘s“Camp Scare” with Velma and Daphne, Velma is told by a male to "just stand and look pretty". Daphne's excited/giggly response? "He thinks you're pretty!!!"

I had a “what-the-fuck” moment. I couldn’t believe my ears. The original Scooby is from 1969 (so, sexism might seem a little more fitting back then) but this movie was made in 2010.

Not good.

Don't even get me started on Katy Perry. I truly love her (her style and her music) and so does Berlyn. A LOT. Do I think she's harmless? Yes, personally I do. But some of her lyrics are not appropriate for young girls. and kids always have a knack for picking out/hearing the worst parts. Recently, Berlyn said to me "Mommy, can I hear that 'Strangers in my Bed' song?" HUH?! Translation = "Last Friday Night".

I do not want to ever become one of those parents who uses the media as a "babysitter" and/or educator.  I definitely believe in monitoring what my child is exposed to.

At the same time, I don't believe in being TOO rigid and censored or denying my child the ability to discover music, art, books and film.

It's a hard call.

I have a TON of new posts coming SOON!!!!

Thanks for being patient, friends! ♥

                           xoxo,

Activism

 

This really says it all. 

BE A MOSQUITO!

 

I posted this photo on my Facebook this morning. It really spoke to me and I felt like it was something others needed to see. It always amazes me how, when you bare your soul and your innermost feelings; most people are right there with you. Feeling the same thing, and happy to know someone else is as well. I have long kept my "feelings" to myself because I've been criticised for being too emotional or sensitive. But, I no longer apologize. And I know there are so many of you out there who feel THE SAME ♥

We've all got obstacles....but how we tackle them and get through them is the true indicator of our character.

Punching Bags are a Wonderful X-Mas Gift.

Expectations are useless. Especially if they are of other people. My new motto?  

“FUCK ‘EM. Take care of yourself. The end.”

{Sorry, that was a little harsh but, well, it needed to be said.}

The list of “stresses” I have in my own life is about 5 pages long. Will I share them with you?

Hell no.

Sorry, no offense, but my problems are not YOUR problems and it’s pointless to burden others(you)with your (my)own negativity.

Something to remember though, and I always come back to this ---------- >

(*There are so many people I wish I could share that above photo with. Seriously. Just cram it down their throat. I know, personally, it's made me stop short and want to slap myself upside my OWN head.)

Let’s just say: Stress is NOT my friend. I got some advice from my nearest and dearest recently on how they deal with stress since I am so obviously clueless. My favorite response, by far, was from my sister in law. 

“Punching bags.”

Oh, lord that would be heaven. Who wants to buy me an an early Christmas gift? Anyone?

But, the one that kept coming up was pretty simple.... Breathing. Relaxing, Peace. Meditation.

Do you have any idea how often I’ve dreamed of this unattainable world of peace?!?!

*More times than I’ve thought of naughty time with Criss Angel*

I have lingered around the Buddhist teachings (loosely) in the past and always, ALWAYS come back to them. I think it's a beautiful culture....a beautiful practice, and one that very definitely needs to be a part of my own life.

So, today, at my own personal breaking point – I made a sign - and I am not sharing it with you because, well, it sucks. I have the artistic skills of a 2nd grader. It reads:

"Mommy is Meditating."

Will it work?

Let’s hope for the sake of all the little children (namely, Berlyn), it does.

Namaste!

Netflix = Godsend or Curse?

We signed up for the “free trail” of Netflix on our (new, 42 inch flat screen) TV.

Little did I know what I was getting myself into.

Immediately I knew this was either the greatest thing to ever happen to us…or, a grave mistake.

Countless episodes of:

• Toddlers and Tiaras
• Clean House
• Hoarders
• Mad Men
• Law and Order
• Medium
• Ghost Adventures
• Criss Angel Mindfreak (drool)
• Heroes
• Parenthood
• Weeds
• Bones
• Reno 911
• Intervention
• Dr 90210
• Nip/Tuck
• Prison Break
• Breaking Bad
• Paranormal State
• The Wonder Years
• Psych
• Caillou
• Spongebob Squarepants
  
• Dora the Explorer

 AND MORE.....All at our little fingertips.

I could always watch Army Wives, Jersey Shore, Teen Mom or Pawn Stars…but, WHY?

I have already spent a few evenings (into the wee hours of the AM) scrolling thru my options.

God help us when the actual 'full blown membership' (and 1000s more to choose from) kicks in….

(Let me not forget to mention that there are MOVIES on there as well, not just TV shows. I am in so.much.trouble.)

In the wise words of Al Bundy, “They will be able to find me by the butt prints on my couch cushion if I ever go missing.” 

Scary, scary thought.

Be Careful What You Say to Little Children.

Seriously, folks.

About a month ago, we had a little issue with Berlyn.

Lying.

Oy. Really? Already? She’s only four. I guess it starts earlier than I thought.

Her dad and I were watching 'Pan’s Labyrinth'. 

(If you’ve never seen it, there is a hideous monster in it. He has no eyes…well, he does. They are on his hands. And he eats little children. I am totally not making this up.)

This is a foreign film, fyi. And it’s pretty messed up but well, I typically like that sort of thing.

Anyways, one evening Berlyn had been grounded for about 3 nights straight. For lying. We had no idea how to convey to her the importance of telling the truth.

I had already tried the Pinocchio tactic numerous times...."Your nose is growing, Berlyn." She would stop, feel her nose and yell "No, it's NOT!!!"

Fail.

So, her dad says, “See that guy? (points to monster), he doesn’t like lying. His name is Frank. I have his number in my phone.”

You should have seen Berlyn’s face. Priceless.

Odd how we are trying to teach her the importance of lying, when, we - her parents, are…well, lying.

So, over the next few days, here and there, when she was misbehaving her dad would say “Want me to call Frank?” and she would scream “NO!!!!”

Today, she walked up to me with 2 strawberry hard candies on her hands, held them up to her eyes and said, “Mommy, I’m Frank.”

 God, I totally forgot about that. Guess that sort of stuff does stick...