T-H-I-R-T-Y

Me, circa 1983.



I am turning 30 very soon now. In 136 days. Who's counting though? No, not me.

I have mixed feelings. Mainly GOOD ones, surprisingly. Thank god society looks at women in their 30's differently than they used to. It used to be, your life was o-v-e-r at 30. But, now, it really is the beginning for many women. It still leaves me with a sense of urgency.
Where has my life gone?! Has it really been 30 years? Christ. I need to get a move on.

It causes me to reflect on everything.

Good, bad, ugly. And, it spurs me on to think of where I want the remainder of my existence to go.

I have wasted SO MUCH TIME. Doing what? Normally, you gauge your life by what you've accomplished:

Career?
Husband?
Family?
House?
Education?
Travels?

At the end of the day, I've accomplished ONE. In my opinion, the most important...but that can vary from person to person.
I have a child. She is my greatest accomplishment.

But, nothing else has gone the way I wanted it to. I wanted to be many things: actress, drummer, writer, psychologist, wife (depends entirely on the day you ask me though..).
None of those things have happened. Yet.

I am looking at my 30th birthday as a "new beginning". It's the second chance I'm giving myself to start fresh. I am leaps & bounds from where I used to be...and still more leaps & bounds from where I wanna be. But you know what? I'm not dead yet. :)

I know one thing: I do have a calling in life. I am lucky that I can recognize it because some people go their whole lives wondering....but, I know. I just need to "get there" first.

Can you guess what it is? :)