June 10th, 2009

I took a "mental day" off from work today. I kinda needed it. (refer to my previous blog: ~Look at me, I'm Sarah Dee!~: It was a Full Moon Sunday...I checked. )Everyone does, at one point or another. I get overwhelmed a lot more than I used to. Not sure why...it could be just the stress of normal life, being a single parent, working a full-time job. Or, it could also be that I just put too much pressure & expectation on myself (and others). Whatever the case, after a week of work/social/personal/mental drama....I was exhausted.

I spent the first part of my day with my roommate, Lane. We (Lane) re-arranged our kitchen, we smoked, had some beers on the patio, watched "The Cosby Show", laughed at their ridiculously hideous 80s outfits (and dancing), then chatted some more. We drove around Eagle, Star & Boise and just looked at houses & showed each other some of our "memorable spots" through the years we had both lived in Idaho.
I picked up my baby girl in the evening from her Dad's house and then my friend, Amanda came over for dinner - (lemon pepper talapia, spinach salad, rice, baked potatoes, wine & sherbert for desert..yum!). Watched "Mama Mia"...it made me laugh & cry...mainly the parts about being a single mother got to me, but not in a bad way. Just a real way. This is my life and might be for the next 18 years. And I am more than okay with that. Berlyn will be my very best friend & I cannot wait for all our years together! There may never be a man, a "companion" or a "partner" for me...and I'd rather just accept that thought instead of pin my hopes on something that may never be. Berlyn still deserves the best life I can possibly give her, regardless of if I have a man in my life.

I feel much peace today & have a whole new outlook on the things going on in my current life: work, family, friends, Where I want to be. Who I want to be, And what I want to do. I have to say, I enjoy times like this; when you feel like you get a second wind and the world is your oyster. Anything is possible. I'm giddy just thinking about a new beginning....maybe not right now. But one day, I'll get that second chance (ie.."fresh start") I've been needing & wanting.

So, with all that being said - I am focusing on the good things in my life right now. Happy stuff. Things that make me smile and feel blessed.

My baby girl & I, today. Notice the little pink flowers in her hair? So cute!:



My baby girl & Manda, being silly:



Lane, being fabulous in Berlyn's winter hat:




Me..singing karaoke! Here's the proof! (this was several weeks ago...but I just got the pic...it makes me smile.)